Growing Up “Livia”
Written by Caina Q. Fuller
Livia could sense that the end was near. The end of what exactly, she wasn’t sure. Most likely it would either be the end of
her life, but the possibility it would be Brigid’s reign as Queen of the First
Tribe was a definite possibility.
The looks on the sisters faces as Brigid told them that she was
hereby freeing Livia from her status of slave to Amazon citizen told her all
she needed to know: Brigid was losing
the loyalty of her sisters and it was all her fault.
Something inside of Livia wanted to step forward and stop Brigid
from making this mistake, but years of being taught by Ares, who had yet to
make an appearance since she was captured by the Amazons, to be selfish
wouldn’t allow her to do or say anything that would mean sacrificing her own
interests for someone else. The god of
War had done his job well with Livia.
“I know you don’t like my decision, but I’m asking you all to
trust me for a reason. She is my
sister. If she can be redeemed, I have to at least try.”
Linara, beaten and bruised, emerged from the middle of the
crowd. Her face, or what anyone could
see of it, was full of anger and betrayal.
“She hasn’t been your sister since you lost her all those years
ago. You’re Hanai, and you’re our
Queen. Your loyalties should lie with
us, not her. When are you going to wake
up and see that?”
Many of the sisters began to mumble their agreement with Linara,
and Brigid could feel her control over her tribe slipping. She wasn’t really surprised. She had become
Queen only because Livia had killed the “real” Queen. Now she was embracing the
enemy, and they obviously couldn’t accept it.
“It sounds to me like you’re challenging my authority.”
The women looked between Linara and Brigid as the silence
stretched between them. As far as
Brigid was concerned, her sister’s life hung in the balance, and she wouldn’t
allow these women to harm someone she loved.
Linara came forward and stood before Brigid, her bruised body in
no shape to fight. She had the right of
caste, and she was the only one who could legally challenge Brigid to a fight
for the crown.
“I’ve always been your friend Hanai. Don’t let this Roman tear us apart.”
“If you were really my friend, you would respect my decisions as
Queen. Something has happened to my sister since we were separated. I’m going
to bring back the girl I knew and loved. Whether my Amazon sisters like it or
not.”
Linara turned away from Brigid and faced the crowd gathered before
them. “How many of you here want Livia
executed?”
Ever sister in the tribe raised her hands and cheered. This was their one chance to have their
voice heard, and they weren’t going to waste it. Brigid held her hands up for silence, and posed her own question.
“How many of you would like for me to step down as Queen?”
One particularly brave sister in the rear of the crowd raised her
voice. “All of us, if you won’t do your
duties as Queen and have Livia executed!”
Once again the crowd began to cheer and Brigid turned back to
Livia. The look they shared said it all: Brigid had all but lost her hold over
the Amazons. Her only chance now was to
take control and rid herself of the opposition. Not all Amazons were against
Brigid, but more were than not.
“I’ll tell you what. Since
I am still Queen of the First Tribe, I will do as I said I would. Livia will be made an Amazon. She will be a citizen of the First Tribe
with all liberties and rights that come with citizenship. When Linara has
completely healed of all her wounds, and has had time to prepare herself, she
and I will fight for the crown.”
Brigid stood over Linara, her eyes boring coldly into her second
in command. “If she wins, Livia’s fate
is in her hands, as well as mine. If I win, she and every other sister who is
no longer loyal to me will leave the First Forest forever to join with the
Northern and Eastern Amazons. Is that
fair?”
The sisters didn’t take long to consider her proposal before they
nodded in agreement. Apparently they
had a lot of confidence in Linara’s ability to defeat Brigid in a fair
fight.
“Do you accept Linara?”
“I do.”
“Very well then,” Brigid said. She waved her hand for the crowd to
disperse, but Linara remained behind.
“If you win, you’ll be living in an empty forest. She doesn’t love
you Hanai. She’s a Roman who only
love’s herself. She isn’t your sister
anymore, and it seems you’re the only one who can’t see that.” Linara’s eyes bore into Livia’s. “One day,
if it suits her purposes, she’ll turn on you. And when she does, you’ll pay for
this foolishness with your life.”
With that said, Linara went off with the other sisters to her own
hut. Brigid estimated she had about a
week to prepare, maybe nine days, before she would either defeat one of her own
sisters in combat, or win and lose everyone she has called family for the past
seven years. But it was for her sister,
and as far as Brigid was concerned, Livia was worth it.
**********
“Livie? Come on. I want to show you something.”
Livia emerged from the Queens hut, wearing the traditional, and
somewhat skimpy, clothes of the Amazons.
She looked like any other of the women around her, except the other
sisters held her in the utmost contempt.
She knew that every time she passed them to go hunting with Brigid, they
were waiting for Linara to kick Brigid’s ass in a fight so they could kill her
in some gruesome, horrible way.
She and Brigid had been living all but separated from the rest of
the sisters for the past three days.
The Amazons did as Brigid ordered of course, and life went on as usual,
but the love and sense of unity that had once bonded them so closely was
gone. Livia wondered if it would ever
be returned.
She also wondered about the feelings that had arisen in her
heart. It seemed that her heart was a
lump of black ice in her chest, serving only one purpose, and that was to keep
her alive. She had a difficult time
genuinely feeling the emotions she used to share with Brigid when they were
children.
The idea of loving the woman who was risking it all to save her
and her soul was so foreign to her it actually angered her. Livia had found
she’d turned into a mass of mental and emotional conflict. She didn’t want to
get to know Brigid, yet she longed for the good old days when they were
children, running around Ann’s skirts playing tag.
She didn’t want to look into Brigid’s green eyes and fall apart
with silly giggling for no apparent reason other than she was just happy to see
the love that was so brightly reflected within, but at the same time she wanted
lose herself in her sisters crystal green orb’s forever. She didn’t want to need the honest, pure
love Brigid offered, yet she could no longer deny she did need it.
Brigid was offering her a choice between hatred, violence and
power, or family and pure, selfless love.
If she followed Brigid, she knew she would one day lose her desires to
conquer and rule the world. Yet if she
did not, she would pay for that ultimate power with her eternal soul.
“Are you ok Livie?”
Livia didn’t realize she’d been staring at Brigid as her mind had
raced with these thoughts until her sister called out her old nickname. She
forced herself to look to the wagon she and the Queen would take to the lake
for a day of fishing and picnicking.
Just the two of them, like in the old days.
The old days. It was too
bad they couldn’t just turn back time and do it all over again. There were so many things Livia would do
differently. First, she would never
have taken her eyes off Brigid for a moment.
Something told her that if she’d never lost the only sister she’d ever
known, she wouldn’t be the bitter, power hungry woman she is now.
“I’m fine. Let’s get to
the lake huh? I’d like to get some sun
on my skin.”
“Still not used to cool air huh?
You’ll adjust, one day.”
“Only if you win in that fight against Linara. You should let me teach you some of my
techniques so you’ll-”
“No,” Brigid said, cutting her off. “I didn’t mean to snap, but I have to do this on my own, or I
will gain no honor from it. Do you understand?”
“No, but I’ll accept it.”
“Would that all my sisters were like you Livie,” Brigid said, a
small, somewhat sad smile pulling at the corners of her lips. “Let’s go have some fun, huh?”
Brigid put the horses into a casual walk and they rode out of the
village they’d become the enemy in since Livia’s arrival. Brigid found herself thinking of that every
moment since she’d decided to end the power struggle with one, definitive
fight. She turned to Livia, once they
were out of the range of her warrior’s hearing.
“I saw some of the sisters that know my fighting style best
training Linara. That’s why its so
important to me to do this without any help. I want to prove to them all that
no matter what they try to do, I’m worthy to be the Queen of the First Tribe.”
Livia smiled, her wicked nature shining through bright and
clear. “If they’re training her, that
means they know she doesn’t have what it takes to defeat you on her own. How long do you think it will take her to
learn your techniques?”
“She already knows it, basically.
She and I have always been close.
That’s why I’m willing to bet this will be a close fight.”
“If it comes down to it, can you kill her?”
“I could,” Brigid said, clearly not liking the idea of taking the
life of someone she considered a friend.
“But I won’t.”
Though she was trying to hide it, Brigid sounded worried. Livia thought of the day she’d killed Odessa
in Ares’ temple. Brigid had been such a
weak-hearted girl then. Now, thanks to the Amazon’s, she was a true warrior.
“You shouldn’t worry Brigid.
You gave me your best shot and I couldn’t best you. That’s saying something, considering Ares
has been training me since the day you were stolen from me.”
So that explains it, Brigid thought, though she
said nothing. Ares has corrupted
her. No wonder she’s so full of hate.
It looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me.
“We’re going to prevail Livia. We’re going to be happy.”
Finally they arrived at a beautiful lake that was being fed by a
majestic waterfall.
“Finally, some sunlight.”
Livia said. She dismounted,
almost before Brigid had a chance to stop the wagon, and rushed to the waters
edge. Brigid knew it was only to escape
her searching eyes, so she went after her.
She didn’t want Livia to have too much time to collect herself and pull
away from her.
Brigid had every intent to slay the beast that Ares had
created. Only instead of using the
sword, she would use the most powerful weapon the gods had ever given mankind.
Love.
**********
Augustus Caesar had to admit that it was nice to finally be away
from Rome. At least for a little while.
He loved the city, but it could be so demanding on his patients. It seemed there was always someone trying to
get close to him. Either to assassinate
him or to use him for their own ends.
As he made his way toward Livia’s last known location, feeling the
power of the horse beneath him, ready to run into a glorious battle at any
given moment, he remembered what it was like in the good ole days, when he was
just starting out to secure his place as one of Rome’s most powerful Caesar’s
in history.
He found himself longing for his youth again. He could feel his once strong muscles
weakening. He could see them steadily
shrinking, and he could feel his once narrow, lean waist getting thicker with
each year that passed by. His eyes weren’t as sharp as they once were, and he
couldn’t remember as many details as he once could.
‘War is for the young’, his uncle Julius had once told him, ‘and
the throne is for the wise’. He had
been unable to comprehend what his uncle was saying to him then, but now he was
beginning to understand.
The only question that steadily ran through his mind in the latter
days seemed to be, was he as wise as his uncle had been? Or would he be brought down by a woman, also
as his uncle had been.
He called for one of his praetorian guard, who ran to him
immediately. “Yes sir?”
“How long until we reach the Amazon forests?”
“Four days sir.”
Good, Augustus thought.
Four days of freedom before he would have to go into what could very
well be his last battle. He doubted Livia was alive, but he wouldn’t kill every
single Amazon until he knew for certain Livia’s fate. Until the time came, he would enjoy his few days of freedom.
**********
Brigid had been under so long, Livia was beginning to wonder if
perhaps something hadn’t happened to her.
The thought of making a run for it did occur to her. Not only would she be gaining her freedom,
but Brigid wouldn’t have to lose her tribe either. Finally Brigid emerged from the water with a squirming trout in
her hands.
“Quick! In the bag!”
Livia had forgotten what a scrooge she was long enough to actually
have some fun with her sister. She held
up a sack to carry their catches in and Brigid tossed the fish with finesse
rarely achieved by the average person.
Then again, Brigid wasn’t the average person. She was an Amazon
Queen. She was Livia’s sister.
Brigid pulled her tall, muscular frame from the water and
stretched out on the grass to let the sun warm her cold skin. The water was almost like ice, considering
that the day was considerably warm in the sun.
“Sure you won’t hop in Spider?”
Livia looked over to the rippling water and could imagine how cold
and deep it was. The sound of the
waterfall was relaxing, but she didn’t want to actually submerge herself in it.
“No thank you. I’m fine like I am.”
“Suit yourself,” Brigid said, and it reminded Livia of a game they
used to play as children where both of them had to have the last word or they
lost. Brigid had always won that
particular game.
“You always had to have the last word, didn’t you Brigid?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Brigid said with mock
innocence as she once again managed to sneak in the last word.
“Sure you do.”
Brigid shook her head no, and Livia had to force back a silly
giggle. “Nope. I have no idea what you
mean.”
“You don’t have to be a genius to know what I meant Spider.”
“Nope, you sure don’t.”
Livia finally gave up and picked up their catch. “I’ll gut
this. You start a fire.”
Livia looked to her sister to see if she would allow her to win
this once. “Sounds good to me. I’m hungry.”
Apparently not.
An hour and a half later they were stuffing their faces with
freshly grilled trout and reminiscing about the good old days, like they hadn’t
been separated for seven years.
“Do you remember that one girl with the lazy eye?” Brigid asked,
pulling a bone from her mouth and trying not to laugh while she ate.
Livia finished her last bite of fish and thought back on all the
girls they’d schooled with at the Academy.
“I sure do. She thought she was
so smart. Always raising her hand first for every question the teacher would
ask. I absolutely hated her.”
“You’re not the only one,” Brigid said, nodding in agreement. “Even her friends didn’t like her.”
“That’s not saying much. She looked down her nose at everybody.”
“Yeah, but she could only see one side clearly.”
Livia and Brigid rolled with laughter at the joke. Livia was surprised at how good it felt to
laugh just for the hell of it.
Gods. This was heaven and
despite herself, she loved Brigid for giving her a small piece of it.
Livia had her own fond memories of the Academy too. “Do you
remember that teacher that liked Mom?
What was his name?”
“He was from Athens,” Brigid said. “If I remember correctly his name was Epeius. There was a rumor going around he went both
ways, if you know what I mean.”
“By the gods! I’d
forgotten about that one.”
Once again they laughed, enjoying the memories of their childhood.
“I remember,” Livia began, “how he would send Mom flowers every single day, but
he would always use one of the slave girls to do it. He was too embarrassed to
bring them himself. Poor man. Could you imagine being that weak and
pathetic?”
“Well, I wouldn’t call him weak and pathetic Livie. Just shy.
Sometimes it’s good for the soul to be soft you know?”
“Yeah, but not in a real man.
Besides, how would you know?
You’re the Queen of a tribe of warrior women.” Livia leaned in, as if conspiring to do something wicked. “When was the last time you’ve had sex?”
“Livie!” Brigid’s cheeks
turned as red as her hair and she looked away, embarrassed. This was not the kind of thing she talked
about with anyone, and she felt weird discussing sex with her sister.
“Oh, come on, tell me. This is girl-talk after all. Well? When?”
“I can’t remember.”
“That long huh?”
“Livia!”
“Don’t tell me you don’t miss it Sis. I’d go after one of the slave boys if I wasn’t afraid of impaling
myself on one of their bones.”
They laughed again, only this time it was more sedate. “I suppose,” Brigid said, “we could feed
them a little more often.”
“Yeah. You might actually
find you a man in one of…never mind. None of them have tongues. Forget it.”
Both women lay on her back, and Brigid took Livia’s hand in her
own, as they’d always done as children.
The sky above them was the most perfect dark blue Livia had ever
seen. There wasn’t a cloud in sight,
and she almost felt as if her soul could just float out of her body and into
eternity. It was a dizzying experience,
but one she was enjoying thoroughly.
As the minutes passed them by, another thought came to Livia: What if Brigid lost the fight against
Linara? She was ready to accept her own
death, but she wasn’t so sure she could handle losing Brigid again. Strange, Livia thought, how one could adapt
so quickly to the idea of having another person in her life.
“Spider?”
“Mmm?”
Livia looked over and saw that Brigid’s eyes had closed and her
breathing had slowed. In a few moments the Queen would be asleep, and Livia was
amazed that her long lost sister, knowing how Livia was, would show that much
trust in her.
And Livia wondered if she would ever betray that trust. She
watched Brigid’s profile and she knew in her heart that she had found a place
to call home. That place wasn’t in the
forest with the Amazon’s, but in Brigid’s warm, loving heart.
In her mind’s eye, Livia could see her heart encased in a block of
ice, and that ice was melting. Slowly,
but surely. As her hatred and bitterness fell away, her soul seemed to warm to
the idea of letting go of the dogma Ares had pounded into her half her life
about never allowing herself to love another.
She was at war with Brigid, and the prize was Livia’s soul. And even though she never would have
believed it possible before she’d been brought in among the Amazon’s, Livia
knew she was losing this war.
And she was glad.
The End of Chapter Eight.