To Save Chelsea's Life

By: Emerald

As Xena, Gabrielle, and Callisto walked along the brown brick road in the middle of several different towns to each and every way, they noticed something.

Call: Hey, where's Argo?

XXena: Oh, I let him run off for a while.

Gab: It's amazing how you can do such things. You know, without him running away or anything.

Xena: Well, he hates being without me but likes to eat and drink from ponds and all, so he always runs off and comes back.

Call: Yeah, I wish I had a horse.

Gab: We used to. But when you tried to do the same thing Xena does with Argo to him, he never came back!

Call: Well sorry!

Gab: Oh don't be sorry. He was starting to get on my nerves anyway. So stubborn!

Xena: Uh, let's go the other way, alright?

Call: Why?

Xena: I just have a feeling we should go the other way.

Gab: Oh C'mon, Xena!!! It's the first sign of spring today and according to all my maps, this is the

prettiest route!

Call: Wait a second, Gabby. When Xena has a feeling, I think we better listen.

Gab: Oh fine!!!!

Xena: Gabrielle, don't be mad. I just don't want to run into anyone we won't have to.

Xena pointed behind a couple of trees as she spoke. Callisto and Gabrielle looked and saw what she

meant. Then they walked back over to Xena who was folding her arms.

Xena: Told ya.

Gab: Let's go.

Call: What does Ares want, now? Why has he been bothering you so much, Xena? Whould someone

please tell me whats going on?

Gab: Yeah, Xena. What's going on?

Xena: The minute we get out of this place, I'll tell you.

In a few minutes, they were out.

Call: What the heck is goin' on?

Xena: Okay, Gabby, remember about three weeks ago and we were at the riverbank and I was asking

weird questions?

Gab: The ones where you asked if I was still a Goddess or if I had killed Ares?

Xena: Yeah! Those.

Gab: Yeah, I remember, why?

Xena: Well, the reason I was asking those questions is because I had a weird dream about it all when I

got knocked out. When I woke up, I just had to ask. Then, when you went to tell Callisto we were going

to Potedaea, Ares appeared. None of you knew about my dream, but he did. And he gave me a very

long speech in my dream. And since then, he's been checking on us.

Call: On you.

Xena: Who knows?

Gab: So that's why? Because of a stupid dream?

Xena: Guys, it wasn't a dream. It really happened but Ares said something about Zeus making you two

forget about it.

Call: Ares told you that?

Xena: Yes.

Call: You believed him?

Xena: Yes.

Gab: Are you crazy?

Xena: Y--No! Well, now that you think about it...

Call: Xena!

Xena: Alright, alright, alright.

Call: Here's another thing I don't understand.

Xena: Yeah?

Call: How come for the past couple of weeks we've been avoiding him? You used to stick around and

fight.

Xena: His speech made sense. And it showed he's just.....um.....

Gab: Are you sticking up for Ares?

Xena: No, it's just....

Gab: Yes you are. And if this is some kind of joke, it's not funny.

Xena: Am I a joking kind of person, Gabrielle?

Gab: I guess your right.

Xena: If you would've heard the things he said, you'd act like me.

Call: Some pretty powerful things were said, huh?

Xena: Oh yeah.

Gab: Guilt trip, guilt trip, guilt trip.

Xena: I felt no guilt whatsoever. He was just making his points clear.

Call: I didn't know the guy had points.

Xena rubbed her head.

Xena: This isn't working.

Gab: Obviously!

Just then, Argo came running up behind them.

Xena: Hiya, girl. Ask Argo, she heard everything Ares said to me.

Gab: Have you gone insane?

Xena: I think.

Xena mounted Argo and walked on him. Gabrielle and Callisto walked on feet. They traveled for hours

until they heard arguing to the west in the forest.

Gab: Thataway.

Gabrielle pointed to the forest. They started walking until they saw two people arguing. Ares and this

20 year old female no one knew. The girl was wearing a white dress with brick red hair and looked

really, really, mad.

Gab: Do we help her?

Xena: Doesn't look like she needs help.

Call: She looks like she's really furious with Ares.

Xena: I like people who can make Ares mad.

Gab: Is that the reason you let me stay?

Xena: Oh yeah, Gabrielle. The only reason I let you hang around with me is because you can make

Ares mad.

Call: What a friend.

Xena: I was being sarcastic!

Call: Well, good!

Xena: Ya know, your starting to remind me of Joxer.

Call: No! Don't even joke like that!

Xena: Heh,

Call: Now Xena, what are we going to do with that girl and Ares? Let them fight all morning?

Xena: Ares will give up, or the girl will give up, and if they don't, we butt in.

Gab: Good plan.

After watching for a couple of minutes, the girl just watched Ares yell. She didn't do anthing but she still

looked angry. Finally, Ares kept quiet and they stared at each other angrily.

Xena: Now we help.

Xena rode down the hill on Argo.

Xena: Who are you?

Girl: Chelsea.

Xena: What's going on?

Ares: Nothing. I just hate girls.

Xena looked at Ares like she was about to kill him.

Ares: What?! I do!

Chel: Listen, buddy. I----

Xena: No, no, no. I don't want to hear you fight, I want to know why your fighting. Understand?

Chel: Well then I'll tell you. See, I know Ares from about...I don't know...5 years ago. I was young, and my family was killed by this evil person named Xena. Male or female, I'm not sure.

Gabrielle walked up behind Xena.

Chel: Anyway, I was lost and confused. I had to go somewhere. I moved into the forest and lived in a little cottage I had built myself. I wanted total revenge.

Ares: This is the part of the story I like.

Chel: I knew I had to get revenge on Xena, whoever he or she was.

Xena: She.

Chel: How'd you know?

Xena: I know her.

Chel: Oh, okay. YOU DO??????? Are you close with her?

Xena: Quite. I know her like I know myself. And I assure you, she's changed.

Chel: I don't care. I'm still out to kill her. The first person I met, was Ares. I was 15 and my family had been killed 2 years before.

Call: Sounds familiar.

Gab: Shut-up.

Chel: Anyway, Ares told me he knew Xena and he said that he'd help me get revenge against her.

Xena looked at Ares.

Ares: Aheh,

Xena: Go on.

Chel: So I stupidly, idiotically, very dumbly, joined the evil side. Ares and I kind of like, well, were working together. Then I realized what I was doing was wrong. So I quit. I went back to my cottage and lived happily ever after. I wasn't going to kill everyone when I only wanted to kill Xena. Which I still do.

Xena shook her head.

Xena: You still want to kill Xena?

Chel: Very muchly so.

Xena: Zeus, help me. Anyway, how does this relate to your fight with Ares?

Chel: Oh, it's just another fight. We're always fighting. He always comes back to haunt me and tries to persuade me into joining him.

Xena: By the Gods Ares. Look, Chelsea, your not alone. He probably does it to other people.

Chel: I doubt it.

Xena: Oh, believe me. He does.

Chel: You never told me your name.

Xena: Uh, um, guys, help me out here!

Gab: Um, I'm Gabrielle!

Call: And I'm Callisto.

Chel: That's great. Now, who are you?

Xena: Um, um,

Gab: She's Meg.

Xena: Meg?!

Call: Who's Meg?

Xena: I'm Meg!

Ares burst out laughing.

Ares: Your Meg?!

Xena/Meg: Shut-up. Well, Ares? Get lost. Goodbye Chelsea.

Chel: No, no! Meg, stay. Please? I have no friends. Would you kindly stay?

Xena: Uh, sure. Whatever.

Gab: Then we're going to go into town, okay?

Call: So long.

Chel: You guys can stay, too.

Gab: Thank you.

Ares: Hey, that's not fair. If they stay, I stay.

Gab: That's why we're leaving. Ares has a habit of following us around.

Gabrielle elbowed Ares in the stomach.

Ares: Owww! Yeah, I'm going. Goodbye.

Gabrielle, and Callisto took Argo and went into town. Ares disappeared.

In town...

Gab: I cannot believe Ares is such a pain.

Call: I can't believe that story you told me about Meg!

Back in the cottage Xena and Chelsea were sitting and talking.

Xena: So, Ares is being a pain.

Chel: Yeah, as usual. But he's the least of my problems.

Xena: Really?

Chel: See, there's this girl I know and she's a princess. She's the snottiest person I've ever met. Her mom, Queen Hendra and her dad, King Gromtese are out to kill me.

Xena: Why?

Chel: Because Princess Lytena told them I wanted to kill her sister, Xena. But that's not the Xena I wanted to kill. I wanted to kill the Xena you know. Or, is the Xena you know a princess?

Xena: The Xena I know is not a princess but I assure you she can pass for one.

Xena smiled at the complement she gave herself.

Chel: Well, anyway, not only that, but the only friend I've ever had, Krystene, is dead because King Gromtese killed her for not saying where I was hiding. None of them has found this cottage, but they keep coming closer and closer each time. Lytena has a thing for Ares, but Ares can't stand her! So now Lytena really wants to kill me because he sees more of me than her and Lytena "assumes" he likes me. Which he doesn't. He told me, he could never love me, which I thank Zeus for.

Xena: Your life is very strange.

Chel: Yeah, I know. Ares says he's so mad at Lytena now he's actually thinking of marrying her so she'll get off his back about us. I just wish, in order to save my life, he would start bothering someone else. But no, stubborn old War-God needs everything for himself, huh?

Xena: I know what you mean.

Chel: You do?

Xena: Oh yeah. I know how Ares gets, and sometimes, I want to kill him. And those two women you met before always want to kill him.

Chelsea laughed.

Chel: Now that I've bored you with my life, let's hear something about you.

Xena: I travel around with my sidekick, Gabrielle, and aprentice, Callisto, and klutz, Joxer, saving peoples lives. Anything else?

Chel: That's it?

Xena: There's not much to my life, Chelsea.

Chel: Ares described the Xena he knew to me, and she comes out to look alot like you.

Xena: Umm, we're twins.

Chel: She's your sister??

Xena: No. It was a twist of fate.

Chel: Amazing. I hope you don't mind me killing your twin.

Xena: I think that's why I'm here.

Chel: Why?

Xena: To talk you out of it.

Chel: Oh no. I'm sorry, that won't work. No matter what you say or do, I'm going to kill her. Ya know, your very nice, but...I'll still kill her.

Xena: Chelsea, what would you say if I told you I was Xena?

Chel: Be shocked and then kill you. But you couldn't be Xena. Xena's an evil, bloodthirsty, warlord. And your a nice, sweet, woman.

Xena: So is Xena. I am Xena.

Chel: Your Xena?

Xena: Yes,

Xena quickly got up and moved back.

Xena: But don't kill me.

Chelsea shook her head.

Chel: No, no. I'm not going to kill you. You were right. You have changed. Or was it all an act to gain my trust?

Xena moved back as Chelsea got up and moved toward her.

Xena: No, no act. I swear! I've changed.

Chel: I hope you have.

Xena: I wanna help you. And I'm sorry for anything I've ever done to you or your family.

Chel: How can I be sure?

Xena: Ask Ares. He knows I changed. He's totally against it but, it doesn't seem like he'd lie to you.

Chel: Then I will. Until then, take me with you.

Xena: Take you where?

Chel: With you. Ares told me what a great fighter you are, and I don't know the least bit about it. In order to fight for my life, I need to fight. You and your friends can teach me, then I'll be able to take care of the King and Queen's soldiers and maybe even them by myself.

Xena: I'm not so sure about this. Several years back someone only about 18 asked me for the same thing and now she's had two children, has gotten married, made her first kill, is now a Goddess...I don't want to do that to you.

Chel: Lemme guess, Gabrielle?

Xena: Yes.

Chel: I only wanna know how to fight. That's it! Please?

Xena: Okay, okay. But you can't stay.

Chel: Yess! Ares told me you were reasonable.

Xena: Seems that Ares talks alot.

Chel: Only about you.

Xena: Uh-huh.

Chel: Really! Xena this, Xena that. Zeus, man! He worships the ground you walk on.

Xena: What does he tell you? I'm some tramp that's always ignoring him? That's likely.

Chel: No, Xena. Anything he tells me about you is good. For a while, I started to forget about killing you hearing all the nice things he tells me about you.

Xena: He's got you.

Chel: What?

Xena: He's got you where he wants you.

Chel: What do you mean?

Xena: You'll find out soon enough.

Chel: We'd better go, now.

Xena: We'd better.

In a hut in town....

Callisto walked away from the "Poker" table and sat at a regular eating table. Just then, Xena and Chelsea walked in and sat with her.

Call: Hi Meg, Hi Chelsea.

Xena: She knows who I am, Callisto.

Call: Kill Xena! I didn't even do anything!

Chel: I'm not going to kill anyone.

Xena and Chelsea explained everything to the two.

Xena: So, where's Gabrielle?

Call: She went to go find food. And look, there she is!

Xena, Chelsea, and Callisto looked. There was Gabrielle, when she got to the table, Chelsea and Xena re-explained everything.

Gab: I see.

Xena: Shh.

Call: What is it?

Xena: Oh, nothing. Just some unimportant God lurking around.

Ares appeared.

Chel: How the heck did you do that?

Ares: She knows. How? I don't know.

Xena: Well, it's easy, whenever I feel like I'm going to hurl, I know he's here.

Ares: That hit me hard.

Xena: Good.

Chel: What do you want, Ares?

Ares: To sit and chat.

Ares sat down.

Ares: Let's talk.

Xena: How's about you make like a tree and leaf?

Ares: Nah, I think I'll stick around this time, Megsy.

Xena: Shut-up. She knows who I am.

Ares: Am I feeling rivalry yet?

Chel: Nah. I think this is the begining of a great friendship.

Ares: Years of planning wasted away.

Xena was growing calmer and calmer.

Gab: Ares?

Ares: Yes?

Gab: Get lost.

Ares: How? I know where I am. I know this earth like the back of my hand.

Call: Ya know, I never got that expression. Who knows what the back of their hand looks like? Espescially if you have a twin.

Everyone to Callisto: Shut-up!

Call: okay, okay, okay!

Chel: How do you put up with Callisto, Xena?

Xena: If we put up with Ares, we can put up with Callisto.

Chelsea was taking a drink of water when Xena said that and since she was going to laugh, she spit out the water all over Ares. Everyone laughed. Not Ares. He wiped water out of his eyes.

Ares: That was uncalled for.

Chel: By the Gods, that was fun.

Call: That was funny, too.

Gab: Jeez, Chelsea, do you know how long I've been waiting for the day when Ares gets humiliated?

Call: Yeah, in front of us, too.

Xena: I finally get to pity, you, Ares.

Ares: Don't laugh at me, people. It's bad for your health if you know what I mean!

Everyone stopped laughing exept Xena who started laughing softer.

Xena: You wanna mess with me, tough guy? Let's go.

Ares: Fine.

Xena: Fine.

The two went outside without saying a word but not taking their eyes off each other.

Call: Uh-oh.

Gab: Now we wait.

Chel: He's going to kill her!

Gab: You obviously don't know Ares.

Chel: I know Ares better than all of you, do.

Gab: Maybe, but not better than Xena.

Call: Is she so dumb that she'd request a fight with a God if she knew she didn't stand a chance?

Chel: I still think we should at least go out there.

Gab: That we can do.

Everyone walked outside. Everyone. The bartender, the customers, the waiters and waitresses, everyone. Outside, they circled the two who were eying each other and no one had made a move. Finally, Xena kicked him. Ares blocked the kick and kicked her back...she blocked. For hours it was kicking and blocking and punching and blocking and no one got hurt but still, the exitment had been there. No one left the circle. Gabrielle did, though. She did want to watch them fight. She seemed used to it. Murmurs were heard through the whole fight.

1 man: Why is the woman trying to beat a God?

1 woman: She's crazy!

another man: Who does she think she is?

a woman: She's Xena! The warrior princess! Xena! Yeah!

Everyone starting cheering.

Ares: Well, that's it, your famous.

Xena: No one ever cheered for me when I was evil, Ares.

Ares: All your armies did.

Xena: Only after I would kill an innosent person.

Ares: But wasn't it fun?

Xena: Not at all.

Xena drew her sword.

Ares: Okay, so we're gonna get serious, here?

Xena: Very.

Ares took a sword from someone nearby.

Ares: Let's have some fun, shall we?

Xena: Yes, we shall.

Swords clashing, kicking, punching...no blood. Chelsea was carefully watching how Xena managed to stand Ares and absorbed all her moves.

Chel: Ares has more oppertunities to kill her than she has and he hasn't done anything!

Call: Don't you know? Ares could never kill Xena.

Chel: Why?

Call: Haven't you figured it out? He's too busy trying to win her back.

Chel: No wonder he never kills me. Hey Callisto, ya think Ares likes her? I mean like likes her?

Call: Ya think?

Chel: Well, I'll be damned.

Call: You didn't know? Sorry to disappoint you.

Chel: Disappoint? I'm thrilled!

Call: Your what?!

Chel: I finally have something to use against Princess Lytena!

Call: Princess Lytena?

Chel: Yeah. A snotty princess who's out to kill me. I'll explain later.

Call: Good.

Soon, the fight was over. To Chelsea's suprise, Ares threw down the sword.

Ares: Why am I doing this?

Xena: Cause you wanted to have fun.

Xena gave Ares an evil smile.

Ares: Well......I hate fighting with you. Your too good and no one ever wins.

Xena: Did you just say I was too good?

Ares: Well, Xena, you are rather good.

Xena: Thank you.

Ares: Welcome.

At night, they all stayed in Chelsea's cottage, it was too small to hold them all, so Chelsea gave Gabrielle her bed, Callisto stayed on the couch, and Xena and Chelsea slept on the floor in the living room. It was about 11:00pm.

Chelsea: Xena, you still up?

Xena: Yeah, why?

Chel: Good!

Chelsea got up and switched the lights on.

Xena: What's going on?

Chel: Why didn't you tell me?

Xena: Tell you what?

Chel: That you and Ares were an item.

Xena: Your kidding, right?

Chel: No! Callisto said it herself.

Xena: The reason I didn't tell you we were an item is bwecause we're not an item! I don't know what possessed Callisto to tell you such a thing. I hate Ares! I don't know how he feels about me, but I can't stand the guy. Callisto was probably pulling your leg, now go to sleep.

Chel: I can't go to sleep, now! I finally can get Lytena off my back about this.

Xena: Fine, but I don't know how that's gonna help you.

Chel: Oh, it'll help me alot. I'll tell Lytena Ares likes you, and she can go on being mad at you and I'm off the hook.

Xena sat up.

Xena: Ohhh, no no no no no.

Xena spoke fast.

Xena: You will not say me and Ares are together. Ever hear of MAJOR PROBLEMS!!!!!

Chel: What do you mean? As long as she knows Ares is with someone else, I'm fine.

Xena: But Ares is not with someone else.

Chel: You're weird, Xena. Didn't you just say that you and Ares were together?

Xena: NO! Callisto said that! I said that I hated him!

Chel: Fine, then. You hate him, sure, but he loves you. And as long as he loves you Lytena will be mad at either him or you. So, I'll be off the hook.

Xena: You're very sneaky. Tell me something, did you really mean this was going to be a great friendship back at the bar?

Chel: Yes, Xena. I do.

Xena: hmm. Goodnight, Chelsea.

Chel: Goodnight, Xena.

The two imediately fell asleep. Xena woke up about 4:00 in the morning and got things ready for their traveling. She started humming a song. Gabrielle walked outside and saw Xena.

Gab: What's tha song your humming?

Xena: I don't know.

Gab: It sounds like something me and Lila used to sing together when we had family gatherings.

Xena: It just came to me outta the blue.

Gab: So, what do you think about giving Chelsea fighting lessons?

Xena: I'm definately teaching her how to fight.

Gab: Why?

Xena: Because she has a plan to talk Lytena out of killing her and it involves me and Ares being together.

Gab: By the Gods, you two are together?

Xena: Gabrielle!!!

Gab: It was a joke, don't get so mad.

Xena: She's just not good at reasoning. As long as the plot has nothing to do with her losing her head, she's fine.

Gab: Well I think you should do it, for her.

Xena started to saddle Argo.

Xena: Do what for her?

Gab: Go along with the plan. Just so she stays alive.

Xena: Then how will I stay alive?

Gab: I'm sure Ares wouldn't mind saving you once Chelsea is far out of Greece.

Xena: Ares save me? Have you gone insane?

Gab: No, Xena. But I think the plan is a good idea. It's just crazy enough to work.

Xena: You have gone insane.

Call: I agree with Gabby.

Gab: Don't call me Gabby.

Xena: For the love of Zeus, where did you come from?

Call: I overhear alot. I was invisable, for Zeus' sake!

Xena: Funny, Sydni was a half-God, Gabrielle's a Goddess, and Callisto's a Goddess. Why do I feel so left out?

Ares: You won't feel as much left out if you come back.

Xena: Show yourself.

Ares appeared behind Xena.

Ares: Yes, dearest Xena.

Xena: Don't pull that crap with me, Ares.

Ares: What a come back, really!

Ares started clapping when Chelsea came out.

Chel: For the first time I'm glad to see you, Ares.

Ares: Your kidding, right?

Chel: No, no, no! I need a big favor.

Xena: Oh no. I'm going inside, so long, adios, buh-bye.

Xena walked inside.

Gab: Um...I'm..uh...going to...um..uh, like.......uh....go inside too.

Gabrielle ran after Callisto. Chelsea and Ares looked at Callisto.

Call: Uh-uh. I don't gots no where to go.

Ares: Get lost.

Call: I'm lost.

Callisto disappeared.

Ares: What's the favor, sweets?

Chel: Don't call me sweets, Ares. Lytena's spies can be hanging around anywhere.

Ares: Could we please stop calling her Lytena? How about we refer to her as "brat".

Chel: Whatever. Here's the favor:

Inside...

Gab: Xena pleeeeeeeease? Just to prevent Lytena from killing Chelsea!

Call: Xena, what harm is it gonna do?

Xena: Hmm, I dunno. Maybe feed my reputation to Dehak, but other than that, not much.

Gab: Who's gonna know?

Xena: Whatever kingdom Hendra and Gromtese own is who's gonna know, and once a kingdom knows, everyone knows. They'll destroy me one town after another. Athens, Sparta, Potedaea, Piraievs, and maybe even Amphipolis!

Call: Xena, I've never seen this side of you.

Gab: Yeah, you've always been worried about other people before yourself. Now it's "Me, me, me. Everything is about me and my reputation.". What's the big deal? You won't really be with Ares, you'll just be with him for a couple of days until you convince King Gromtese, Queen Hendra, and Princess Lytena and her sisters.

Xena: I hate it when your persuasive on me.

Gab: But it always works, doesn't it?

Xena: Always. But I'm not going to do anything at all to show any affection towards him whatsoever. Got it?

Callisto and Gabrielle: Got it.

Xena sighed. Outside....

Chel: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease??????

Ares: Sure!

Chel: Really?

Ares: Definately. I'd love to have Xena in real life, but pretending is just as much fun.

Chel: You are Savior of the world, Ares. Oh my Zeus. Did I just say you were Savior of the world? I'm going nuts.

Ares: Ha, ha, ha. I feel very loved. Wait a second, your asking me if it's alright, but what does Xena think?

Chel: Who cares what Xena thinks. She'll live with it. I won't!!!

Ares: Well aren't you going to tell her?

Chel: Right. Tell Xena. Got it.

Chelsea and Ares walked into the cottage and Ares put his arm around Xena.

Xena: Get your hand off me, Ares.

Ares spoke like a kid.

Ares: But we're dating.

Xena: We're not dating until we get to this Lytena's castle, so move your hand and don't talk about it or suffer.

Ares removed his hand quickly.

Gabrielle hugged Xena.

Gab: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Ares: Hold on, she's only a friend and gets to hug you? How absolutely not fair.

Xena: Fine. I'll hug you, too.

Xena went to hug Ares but kicked him instead.

Xena: I told you you'd suffer. But no, you just had to push my buttons, huh?

Ares: Zeus, that hurt.

Xena: Good.

Gabrielle whined.

Gab: You two better not act like this at the castle.

Xena looked at Ares and her face turned to disgust.

Xena: I hate men.

Chel: You guys! This isn't working!

Xena: I told you it wouldn't work. But you had to go on with the plan, didn't you?

Chel: Yes, I had to.

Callisto flopped down on a velvet chair Chelsea had in her living room.

Call: I can just imagine how this is going to turn out.

In a few days the 5 people and the 1 horse stood outside the castle in amazment. The castle was large and new and it was made of stone. Two gaurds stood at the brown gate that was at least 90 feet tall and 50 feet wide. Yet, the castle walls still were visable over top of the gate. The two guards were stern.

Guard 1: State your names and why your here.

Chel: It's me, Chelsea. Me and my friends are here to see Princess Lytena. She sent for us.

The second Guard nodded his head and the gates opened.

Guard 2: If any of you disturb the castle in any way, you will kindly be asked to leave. If you do not leave, things will get tough. When or how you-----

They ignored the serman given by th Guard and walked in.

Ares: Big castle.

Xena: I just know I'm going to get lost, some how.

Gab: This place creeps me out, Chelsea.

Chel: I've never been here before and once the King and Queen see me, they won't know who I am and when I tell them...I'm dead!

Call: I don't wanna go in there. I really, really, don't.

Xena: Tough.

Xena pushed open the door and walked in. The hall was colorful, mostly purple and violet.

Chel: Lytena's favorite colors.

A man passed by.

Man: You will refer to the Princess as Princess Lytena, my lady.

Chel: Yes sir.

The man walked off.

Gab: What was that all about?

Chel: I dunno. We have to figure out how to get to the King and Queen's throne room.

Call: Ask her.

Chelsea looked ahead and saw a girl with a black dress and a black veil attached to a crown walk by.

Chel: Princess Tawatha!

Gab: Who?

Chel: Princess Tawatha. Lyten---Princess Lytena's sister.

The Princess walked by. Her hair color was unsure because of the crown but she had dark, dark brown eyes that could probably pass for black. She had puffy red lips.

Ares: Reminds me of you, Xena.

Xena: Shut-up, already!

Gabby elbowed Xena in the stomach.

Gab: In here, you act nicely to him.

Xena: But---

Gab: No buts. As much as it pains you to show some sencerness towards him, show it!

Xena: Yes, mother.

Gab: Now go over to him and apoligize.

Xena: Now, your asking for it.

Gab: At least go over to him.

Xena growled at Gabrielle and walked over to Ares. He looked at her and she smiled painfully.

Ares: Nice to see you again, sweetie.

Xena: Shut the he---

Gab: Xena!

Xena: You too, honey.

Ares: That was nice.

Xena: It took years of training to get that out of my mouth, Ares.

Ares: Shh. Tawatha is coming over here and if she sees you acting like we're enemies, Chelsea, and everyone else here, is dead.

Xena: Be quiet so I won't have to say anything.

Ares: Fine.

Tawatha: Hello, Chelsea. Did you come to give up?

Chel: No. I came to introduce my friends to your twitty little brat of a sister, Lytena.

Tawatha: In order to get to her, you have to go through mommy and daddy.

Chel: Well, then where are they?

Taw: The big double doors down the hall.

Chel: Thank you.

Taw: Eat my fist.

Chel: Got any garlic?

Taw: Get lost!!!

Chelsea and the rest went into the throne room where the King and Queen sat in their thrones. Three thrones were left to the Queen, and three thrones were to the right of the King. A girl sat in each of them. One chair was not filled. It was Princess Tawatha's. There was another throne in the middle of the King and Queen. A girl sat in that one, too. It was Princess Lytena.

Gab: Zeus, how many kids did these people have?

Chel: Seven. Princess Lytena is the oldest.

Queen Hendra: State your names.

Chel: Chelsea.

Gab: Gabrielle.

Call: Callisto.

Xena: Xena.

Ares: A----

Princess Lytena: Ares!!! Pooky! How are you?

Princess Lytena ran out of her chair and hugged him.

Ares: Please get off me, Princess.

Lytena: Sure, pooky.

Ares: Don't call me pooky, either.

Ly: Chelsea. What the heck are you doing here?

Chel: I wanted to introduce my friends.

The King stood up.

King: Are you the Chelsea that stole my daughter's man?

Chel: Zeus, no. What has she been telling you?

Ly: It's the truth, daddy! She did!

Chel: I did not!

One of the girls: My sister does not lie, Chelsea.

Chel: Princess Ayana?

Girl: Yes?

Chel: Just making sure it's you.

King: Chelsea, you are to be exitcuted at dawn!

Gabrielle punched Xena in the arm.

Xena: Uh, ugh, umm. Hi, King Gromtese. I'm Xena. Um, see. I...uh...know Ares and...umm...

Ares: Me and Xena are madly in love.

Everyone looked at Ares.

Lytena: WHAT??????????

Queen: I don't believe it!

Xena: Heh,

Lytena: I don't believe you two. Ares is just trying to save Chelsea because he loves her!

Ares: FYI, I don't love Chelsea. I think she's way too, I don't know, kiddey for me. I need maturity. Like Xena.

Callisto burst out laughing.

King: What, what is it, leather lady?

Call: The name's Callisto and I just thought what Ares said was funny.

King: Oh.

Lytena: No, I don't..I can't...No! You aren't in love.

Ares: Yes we are.

Lytena: Prove it.

Xena's mouth dropped.

Xena: Prove it!?

Lytena: You heard me. Prove it!

Xena: Fine. What do you want us to do?

Lytena: I don't know. I'll have to think about it.

Ares: Oh no. This is going to be major, isn't it?

Lytena: Yes, my love. Majorly Major. There are pillows and blankets in your rooms, and your numbers are one the back of these cards.

Lytena handed out little cards.

Xena: 970.

Gab: 971.

Chel: 973.

Call: 970.

Ares: 973.

Gab: I'm all by myself?

Ares: I'm with Chelsea!?

Xena: I'm with....Callisto!?!

Chelsea and Callsito stood in shock.

Lytena laughed a short, fake, laugh.

Ly: They must've gotten mixed up somehow.

Lytena paired up everyone. Gabby and Callisto, Ares and Xena, and Chelsea was to stay in the dungeon until all proved otherwise. Xena looked at Ares and stepped back.

Xena: Uh-uh.

Ares stepped back and equaled with Xena.

Ares: Xena, shut up.

Xena: Hmm,

Gab: There are two beds in our room, right?

Ly: No. There's only one bed in each room. Work it out.

Call: No! I'm not dating Gabrielle! I demand a two bed room!

Ly: This is not a hotel. You don't get to pick how many beds you want.

Call: Fine. Gabby? Your sleeping on the floor.

They hand-cuffed Chelsea and Callisto and Gabrielle left.

Xena: I'll get you out, Chelsea, don't worry.

Chel: Whatever they want you to prove, prove!

Xena: Okay.

Two guards rushed out of the room with Chelsea.

King: Allow me to introduce my family.

King Gromtese pointed to a girl with brownish-red hair and a silver crown wearing a black satin dress.

King: This is my youngest daughter, Princess Robyn.

The King pointed to another girl that looked exactly like Robyn.

King: Her twin, Cheryl.

The King pointed to the last girl in that row, she had the same hair and the same crown but was wearing a long red silk dress with a gold chest plate.

King: My middle daughter, Ayana.

The King pointed to the Queen.

King: My wife, Hendra.

The King pointed to the first girl in the second row who was wearing blue velvet and blue leather around her stomach.

King: My older middle daughter, Loryanne.

The other two seats were empty. He pointed to Lytena who had her arms around Ares and was twirling his hair. She was wearing a short, leather, red skirt with fringes and a red leather top with no straps She had long, curly red hair and puffy red lips. Her crown was gold with red rubies, and her sandals were red. She had knee high panty hose on which were....take a guess. Red. You'd guess her favorite color was red. She was quite the skank.

King: This is Lytena as you know. My other daughter, Princess Tawatha, is out running errands.

Xena: Oookay.

Xena wasn't paying any attension to King Gromtese. She was looking at Lytena and Ares. Ares looked like he was going to hurl, and Xena felt the same way. Finally, Ares stepped back.

Ares: I'm sorry, Lytena. I have to be truthful. You make me feel like I'm going to throw up.

Ly: Really.

Xena rushed over to them.

Xena: He doesn't mean that. He's kind of took up joking.

Ly: Good. Otherwise I would've killed you both myself right here and now.

Ares: Okay, so you don't make me feel like I'm going to hurl, but I don't love you. I love Xena.

Ly: I still won't belive you until you prove it.

Ares: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ares walked out of the room. Xena threw up her hands and followed. She found Ares and hit him with her card for every word she spoke.

Xena: Are...You...Nuts????

Ares: What? I'm not about to lie to some snot nosed princess. She makes me wanna hurl! It's funny how every woman on earth thinks I'm the most hadsome and greatest man in the world, and then you and your....pack....come along and hate my guts! Thank you!

Xena: Huh?

Ares: You heard me...Thank you. I'm sick of people loving me.

Xena couldn't help but to laugh.

Xena: Well, then you've come to the wrong place, Ares, because those princesses couldn't take their eyes off you.

Ares: Maybe I've come to the wrong place, but with the right people. None of you like me.

Xena put her hand on Ares shoulder as they walked down the hall.

Xena: Well, I like you, but I don't love you. Understand?

Ares: How touching.

Xena: Aheh,

Once they found their room, they walked in. Xena crawled on the bed and Ares looked at her. She picked up a pillow and threw it at him.

Xena: Sweet dreams, honey.

Ares: You too, sweets.

Xena pulled off a blanket from the bed and put it on the floor. Ares seemed to stay awake. Xena took off all her armor and laid in bed. Ares got up and walked to the door.

Ares: Hey Xena?

Xena: Yeah?

Ares: There's no light switch.

Xena: They probably shut off automatically at a certain time.

Ares: What time is it?

Xena: About 9:00 at night.

Ares: Oh great. It's probably another 12:00 drill.

Xena: Just shut your eyes. It's dark when you do that.

Ares: Cute, really.

Xena: Go to sleep, okay?

Ares: Oh, fine.

Ares went back to the foot of the bed and laid there. Xena laid there. None of them fell asleep. Xena heard something outside the door about an hour later and paniced. Someone was going to come in, see Ares on the floor, Xena in the bed, the lights on, and them both sitting up despising each other in their minds. What was a girl to do? She heard the doorknob being twisted...opening..opening...Xena grabbed Ares and pulled him up onto the bed.

Ares: What the heck are you doing?

Xena: Shh. Get under the covers.

Ares: Happily.

Ares made himself comfortable. The door opened slowly.............slowly..........

Ares: So, what's going on?

Xena: The door, stupid! Shhh.

Opening.......opening.......Xena put her hand around Ares.

Ares: Whoa.

Xena: Shhhhh.

Opening......opening.......It was Gabrielle.

Gab: Whoa. Excuse me?

Xena: Oh good, it's just you.

Xena pushed Ares onto the floor.

Ares: I feel......betrayed.

Xena: Live with it, scumbag.

Gab: Was I interrupting something cause I can easily go.

Ares: Yes, you were interupting something...Xena was showing affection for once.

Xena rolled her eyes.

Xena: It was an act just incase Lytena or one of her sisters was on the other side of the door.

Ares: You used me?

Xena: Oh, shut-up, you sound like a girl.

Ares sat down on the floor and folded his arms.

Ares: What do you want, Gabrielle?

Gab: Thank Zeus that was an act.

Xena: What's wrong, Gabrielle?

Gab: Nothing. I'm just checking on you. Next stop, dungeon. You think Chelsea's okay?

Xena: Believe me, she's fine.

Gab: Just outta curiousity, if you guys were gonna fool Lytena, don't you think it'd be smart to turn the lights off?

Xena and Ares looked at each other.

Ares: How?

Gab: Zeus, you guys are so stupid when your together.

Gabrielle walked out the door and closed it. Then she opened it and clapped twice. The lights went off.

Ares: I can't see you, but I just wanna say....cool, man!

The next day at the breakfast table....

Ly: So, how'd you guys like your rooms?

Gab: Pleasing.

Call: Nice.

Xena: Weird.

Ares: Nice lighting arrangment.

Ly: Thanks, sweet pea.

Ares: Oh, stop with the pet names already!

Princess Robyn: Xena, can I speak to you out in the hall?

Xena: Uh, sure.

Xena and Princess Robyn walked out.

Xena: Yes?

Robyn: Look, I know your little plan about stealing my sister's guy, now fess up or die.

Xena: I'm sorry, I have no idea what your talking about.

Robyn: I know your plan! Ares loves Chelsea, but you love Ares. So your trying to steal him from Lytena and Chelsea!

Xena: Part of that is true. I do love Ares. But I'm not trying to steal him from Lytena or Chelsea. Chelsea and Ares don't love each other, Period. Lytena loves Ares, yes, but I've known him longer than he's known either one of them. So if your thirsty for blood, Chelsea's not the one to kill. I am.

Robyn: Hmm,

Xena: Why? Because I love Ares and Ares loves me, okay?

Robyn: I want proof.

Xena: All of you want proof. And if it's proof your after? Then we'll give you proof.

Ares: Exactly.

Robyn: Where in Tartarus did you come from?

Ares: The breakfast room.

Xena: Hey, Ares.

Robyn: Ares??

Xena (eyeing Robyn): Hello honey.

Robyn: Why do I get the feeling you two are putting on an act?

Xena: Zeus, we're not act-----

Xena was interrupted. Very interrupted. Ares was kissing her. Robyn was shocked. After three minutes, Ares stopped.

Ares: Proof? Proof.

Xena was out of breath.

Robyn narrowed her eyes and walked back into the breakfast room.

Ares: Pretty good proof, huh?

Xena was still out of breath and just nodded.

Ares: Let's go.

Xena nodded again. They walked back into the room. They sat down. Xena couldn't talk.

Gab: Xena, are you okay?

Xena nodded.

Ares: I think she's over exited.

Xena kicked Ares under the table.

Xena: I'm fine.

Ares: Love ya,

Xena: You too, sweetie.

Call: Gab, come 'ere.

Callisto and Gabrielle walked out into the hall.

Call: Okay, you think there taking this a little too far?

Gab: I think they're doing great.

Call: But Gabrielle, he kissed her!

Gab: He what!!!???!!!!!

Call: SSSSHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gab: Oh, nice joke, but not funny, Callisto. How would you know?

Call: I'm serious! Take a look at how she's acting, Gab. How they're acting.

Gabrielle gasped.

Gab: Your right! I'm gonna kill him. I'm really gonna kill him! I'm going to rip him apart limb from limb and do it while he's alive!!!!

Gabrielle almost charged into the room but Callisto held her back.

Call: Nnnnnno! Gabrielle, they're pulling it off, aren't they? Think. To save Chelsea's life, let them kiss or even make love on the dinner table for all I care, just to save Chelsea's life!

Gab: I hate it when your right. But if they make love on the dinner table you know I'm gonna say something.

Call: Funny.Let's go back in there and eat calmly,K?

Gab: Okay.

Gab and Callisto walked into the room, Gabrielle eyeing Ares the whole time.

Robyn: So, Xena, Ares, how was your......night.

Ares: Fine.

Xena: Swell.

Robyn: Good.

Queen Hendra: What about you, Callisto? Gabrielle?

Gab: Just great.

Tawatha: How did you work out the sleeping arrangments?

Gab: I slept on the floor, and Callisto got the bed. Your rug was very comfortable.

Everyone laughed.

Ly: I picked it out myself! Too bad you didn't get to feel it, pooky bear.

Ares rolled his eyes.

Queen: So, when's the wedding?

Ares: What wedding?

King: What do you mean, what wedding?

Ares: Who's wedding?

Queen: Chelsea told us last night when me and Cheryl were bringing blankets down that you and Xena were going to be married soon.

Xena: She what!?!?!

Xena stood up.

Xena: That bi----

Ares: Big mouth! It was a suprise, sweetie.

Xena: Oh. Okay, whatever.

Xena sat down feeling like an idiot.

Xena: Suprise?

Ares: Umm, yeah. I told Chelsea that we were going to be married. It was a suprise, I was going to tell you, I swear. Umm, will you marry me?

Gab: WHAT???????

Ares narrowed his eyes at Gabrielle.

Call: Marry? Now, you guys have gone too far.

Ares: Yeah? And who are you to interfere in our personal lives, huh?

Robyn: Marriage??? Okay, now I believe you.

Lytena: It hurts, but so do I.

Xena: Ares...

Ares gave a look that said "Remember? Act!!!".

Xena: Sure.

Ares: Sure, what?

Xena: Sure, I'll marry you.

Xena looked back at Ares and thought "We're not even close to real life here so don't get any ideas!"

Gab: No, you will not.

Xena: And who are you, my mother?

Gab: No, but I assure you she'd say the same thing.

Call: Zeus, help us!

Queen: Have I caused a disruption, here?

King: Uh, honey? I think we have. Let's leave them to argue in peace.

Call: WHO CAN AARRGGUUEE IN PEACE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????!

The King and Queen left with all seven daughters following. They closed the door.

Xena: Whew. I'm soo glad that's over.

Gab: Over? Over?! Over! Your damn right it's over. You two have gone toooo far with this.

Ares: In what ways?

Gab: First the one-bed thing,

Xena: Act,

Gab: Then the kiss,

Ares: Act,

Gab: Now your getting married!

Xena & Ares: Big act!

Call: I think I'm just going to leave and go see Chelsea.

Gab, Ares, & Xena: Fine!

Call: okay, okay.

Callisto walked out to the dungeon.

Gab: I'm gonna kill you both. I knew this plan wouldn't work.

Xena: You said this plan wasn't gonna work? Excuse me!?

Ares: Both of you, shut-up. Can't you see what's going on? It's all Chelsea. She's the one who caused this.

Gab: I don't believe you. I believe it was YOU who rivaled us, and YOU who's trying to rival us with Chelsea.

Ares sighed.

Ares: Fine, fight with each other. I don't give a damn.

Xena and Gabrielle went on fighting.

In the throne room Callisto was tied up with masking tape and ropes. So were all the princesses exept for Lytena. The King and Queen were also tied up. Chelsea was there. Free.

Ly: Thank you, Chelsea, for bringing my Ares back.

Chel: It was the only way for me to get rid of him.

Ly: You've brought him back with another woman, though?

Chel: His one and only love, Xena.

Ly: So it's true.

Chel: No. She can't stand him. She hates the guy. She just did this for me.

Ly: But the marriage.

Chel: There was no marriage.

Ly: So you gained her trust and betryed her, did you?

Chel: Yes. Now, you can have Ares, and I can finally get my revenge on Xena.

Right outside the door, Xena, Ares, and Gabrielle were listening.

Ares: That...that...brat!

Xena: Shhh.

Gab: What are we going to do?

Xena: Win them at their own game.

Ares: How, might I ask?

Xena: Ares, we're getting married.

Ares: Really?

Xena: Yeah, but not for real, if it was real I'd kill myself.

Gab: So how do we pull that off without you two really getting hitched?

Xena: Fun part: I have absolutely no idea.

Ares: This will be fun.

Xena: C'mon, we've got to do some thinking.

2 hours later Xena burst into the throne room in a black dress on. Her hair was tied up and curls came down the sides. She was wearing red lipstick and looked beautiful.

Xena: I can't take it Chelsea. What happened in here?

Chelsea explained her evil plan to Xena.

Chel: So give it up.

Xena: Give what up? The dress? Your joking! Gabby did it for me with her wonderful, useless, powers.

Chel: Give it. Your don't have to get married anymore.

Xena: I know. I was gonna tell the truth, anyway. During these last two days I really have fallen in love with Ares.

Lytena: You what?

Xena: You heard me. Now, I'm getting married to Ares wether you like it or not. We're meant for each other.

Suddenly, Gabrielle came rushing into the room waering another black dress and hair in the same style.

Gab: Forget it, Xena! Plan's off. I just realized if you pretend to get married to him, things might go terribly wrong and you really will marry him.

Xena sighed.

Xena: Great Gabrielle, now we're both going to get killed.

Gab: Guys, we had this plan so we could trick you into thinking Xena really did fall in love with Ares but it's off. Go. Hand cuff us and try to kill us. We'll get out.

Then Ares ran into the room.

Ares: Whatever she just said, ignore it!

Xena: Don't worry, I will.

Ares: Xena, I really do love you.

Xena: And I love you too. That's why we're gettin' hitched.

Gab: I said forget it! Plan's off!!!

Both Ares and Xena looked at Gabrielle.

Gab: You guys have been plotting against me?!

Xena smiled at Gabrielle.

Xena: It feels so good to be back.

Gab: Your really back?

Xena closed her eyes and looked at Gabrielle.

Xena: Back and better than ever.

Ly: Hold on! My pooky bear is getting married???

Ares: Your pooky bear is gone, Lytena. Princess Lytena.

Chelsea: Ares???? Your really getting married to Xena? And you can tell me the truth because I was putting on an act, being friends with her and all. Ask Callisto!

Chelsea ran up to Callisto and took the tape off her mouth.

Call: It was an act!!!!!! We set this all up, being tied up and everything, just to get Lytena!!!

Xena: I don't care if it was an act. Me and Ares are getting married anyway.

Ares: We are?

Xena: Yes, Ares, if your still up to it?

Ares: Marrying you? Oh yeah, I'm up to it.

Call: Really good act, guys. Do you think these ropes will hold me?

Callisto zapped her way out of the ropes.

Call: Like I said, really good act. Now we can kill Lytena and the other princesses who were plotting against us and go home.

Xena: I'm not going anywhere with you.....people. I'm staying with Ares.

Gabrielle: This wasn't part of the plan, Xena! We've got Lytena, now let's go!

Xena: Ares, give me the Dagger.

Ares: What dagger?

Xena: The Hind's Blood Dagger.

Ares: No way, your gonna kill me!

Xena: I'm not going to kill you, Ares. I'm gonna kill her.

Xena cocked her head towards Gabrielle.

Ares: You wouln't.

Xena: If she doesn't shut up, I will.

Ares: Take the Dagger, take it, take it, take it.

Gabrielle started crying. Real tears. Xena had gone back to the other side, and was ready to kill Gabrielle. Xena held the Dagger above Gabrielle's head.

Xena: Now, shut-up you little brat!

Gabby nodded.

Call: Okay, okay, okay. We can handle this, can't we? Yes we can.

Ares: Kill her already.

Gab: G'head, kill me. I dare you.

Xena took that very seriously. She took the Dagger and peirced it into Gabrielle's chest. Everyone was silent for 20 minutes.

Xena: Fianlly, you've shut up!

Call: Gabrielle!!!!!!!!!!!!

Callisto ran to Gabrielle's corpse and cried.

Xena tossed the Dagger to Ares.

Ares: Oh, Zeus. I didn't think you were gonna do that.

Xena: What, toss a stupid Dagger?

Ares: No, kill her.

Xena: Oh, that. It was a long time coming, Ares. Now, about that wedding...

Ares: You serious about that?

Xena: Ares, I'm as serious as they get.

Ares: My life is now complete.

Xena: Not without me it isn't. And I'm not yours yet. Yo princess!

Lytena: What do you want!?

Xena: Get lost. And take your little family, too. Run away and tell the world....Xena's back. Oh, and tell Hercules I said hi.

Lytena: Sure,

Lytena untied her family and they all ran away. Chelsea stood in shock.

Xena: Watcha staring at, Chelsea? Now that those princesses are gone, we're safe ot say it was an act.

Call: You killed Gabrielle, it was an act!!!!!!!

Xena: Don't worry. She's not dead. Gabby, time to get up.

Gabrielle opened an eye and looked at Callisto. She opened both eyes.

Gab: This dress is soo itchy!!!

Call: Gabrielle! Your back!

Ares: She's back?!?! She's dead!

Xena: Ares, look at the dagger. I covered it with cow's blood to make it looke like Hind's Blood. See? I have the real Dagger,

Xena took out the Dagger.

Xena: And you can even see the handles are different. Gabrielle is quite the little actress.

Gab: Thank you.

Gabby pointed at herself and returned to her normal clothes. Then, she did the same for Xena.

Xena: Thank you. Nice dress, but I think you have to start using softer materials.

Gab: I'll check that out.

Ares: But wait a minute, you said you were going to marry me.

Xena: I also said Gabrielle was a brat.

Ares: I get your point. Acting.

Xena: And lots of it.

Ares: So wait, Callisto and me, we didn't know about this plan. We thought you were serious, so you and Gabrielle were planning against us?

Xena: Not gainst you, we just didn't tell you what was going on.

Call: Oh, okay. Hey, Chelsea. I just realized you don't have to live in that old cottage anymore. You can live here!!!

Chel: Hey, your ri-------

Ares: WAIT!!!!!! Xena, you told Lytena to tell the world your back on your evil side! Your rep just went bye-bye!

Xena: I didn't tell her to tell anyone I was back on my evil side, I said to tell them I was back. I specificaly told her that because I told everyone I was going on a long vacation....to this place. And now I'm going home so everyone will know I'm back!

Call: You have a brilliant mind.

Xena: I know.

Gab: Hey, no one's complementing me on this. I thought up the evil part of it all.

Xena: Yeah, but that wasn't important.

Gab: We couldn't have done this without that part!!

Ares: Besides, it was my favorite part.

Xena: Oh, shut-up.

Outside the castle Xena, Callisto, Gabrielle, and Ares stood there saying there goodbye's to Chelsea...

Chel: Man, you guys have helped me out sooo much. Thanks alot.

Gab: We were honored to work with you.

Call: Really, we were.

Xena: Work? That was all fun and games. You want work? I'll show you work.

Gab: Forget it! The girl owns a castle and I don't think she ever wants to here the word 'work' again.

Chel: heh, Goodbye guys.

Xena: So long.

Call: Sianara.

Gab: Huh?

Call: Oh, nevermind.

Callisto, and Ares zapped thmeselves back to Athens and Gabrielle took Xena. At night the girls were sleeping outside and Ares was gone...

Gab: What a fun-filled couple of days, huh?

Xena: Your tellin' me,

Call: Um, Gabby? Xena? I have to ask a question.

Gab: What? And it's Gabrielle.

Call: Okay, Gabrielle, my question is...well, why did you Gabrielle have to die? I mean, the marriage thing was enough.

Xena: I needed to fool Lytena and Ares.

Call: Why?

Xena: Because if Ares knew it was a plot, he wouldn't be so involved. He's not big on acting.

Gab: Yea, and I wanted to make a superb come back and creep you out, Callisto.

Call: Yeah, well it worked.

Xena picked up her word and held it at Callisto's neck as she stood up.

Call: What did I do?

Xena: Move Ares, I'm scaring Callisto.

Xena looked at the tip of her sword as she moved it westward, and then stopped. Ares appeared with Xena's sword going through his neck. He moved back.

Xena: Now, what do you want?

Ares: I don't understand something.

Xena: What...

Ares: In that castle you were sll over me, and now we're back to being enemies.

Xena: Excuse me, but I was not all over you. You were all over me.

Ares: Whatever.

Xena: Yeah, whatever.

Xena put her sword back on the ground.

Gab: Is that all you came to say?

Ares: Nah, one more thing.

Call: Well make it quick because I have to go to sleep and I don't feel safe sleeping when your around.

Ares: Shut-up, miss thang. Now Xena, how about you confess your true love to me and we get married for real this time.

Xena: I'm saying no for two reasons.

Ares: Which are?

Xena: First, if I married you, I'd either kill myself or die from guilt, anyway.

Ares: Funny. Second reason?

Xena: Ares, your not down on one knee.

...The End...