Perdicas

By: David Seo

The crescent moon made a crude reflection on the churning surface of the river. By now the stars had come out, in the pitch-black night sky, to keep the moon company, and were littering the sky like dim fireflies.

Gabby was lost in thought as she squatted down by the riverbank. She tossed a stick into the water and watched it float away. Just like Perdicas, she thought. Just when I was reunited with the love of my life, Callisto had to show up and take him from me; just like when Hope took Solan away from Xena. She missed Perdicas; she kept having recurring dreams about him the past few days, but she repeatedly scolded herself for lingering in the past.

Gabby did not notice Gilead approaching from behind until he cleared his throat out loud. Gabby rose and whirled around, surprised.

"Gilead!"

"Doing some late night thinking? I got ready to turn in, but didn’t see you anywhere so I looked to see where you had gone."

Gabby shrugged.

Gilead joked, "Now what is Gabrielle, the one who hates the water and hates getting wet, doing here?"

Gabby didn’t answer immediately. She observed the young man standing in front of her: in many ways, he was not unlike Perdicas. Very tall; shiny black hair; a face with hard curves and with deep, thoughtful eyes, evidence of someone who has seen and been through much. His unshaven face, however, wasn’t that of Perdicas; it reminded her more of Autolycus, the king of thieves and a "semi-friend" of Xena and herself. Gilead was dressed completely in black leather, with an unbottoned vest with no shirt, and black pants. Even his boots were black; Perdicas never wore black. Gilead wore his sword, kept in a sheath, on his belt; he had once argued it was "easier to reach than having it slung across the back," indicating his mother. "Whatever works for you, Solan," Xena had replied, rolling her eyes.

Gabby finally answered him: "…I was thinking about Perdicas."

"Oh…I’m sorry."

"Please, don’t be. You had nothing to do with it…"

"If anyone can relate to you, it’s mother (Xena)…she did lose me once."

Gabby cradled her forehead in her hand.

"…I mustn’t let my emotions get in the way…the last time I did, Dehak took advantage of me and Hope was born…you know the story."

Gilead nodded.

"…Do…you…want to be left alone? Mother already turned in for the night, so if I go away, no one else will bother you."

No answer.

"…Gabby…?"

"No. I wish you wouldn’t go away. …Can I tell you about Perdicas…?"

"Um…okay."

"All right. Here it is…"

Gabby closed her eyes and thought for a minute. Then she began:

"…When I was growing up in Potidaea, Perdicas was my next door neighbor. We grew up together, basically. …Well…when we were both seven, there was a time when I bruised my knee on a rock. And guess what he did…?"

Gilead said nothing, even though he had a pretty good guess; he bade her go on.

"…He…kissed me. It was a little kiss, on the forehead; but I have never forgotten that very first kiss that I received. (sigh) As we got older…well, one thing led to another, and by the time we were seventeen, we were pledged to be married.

"Then he had a sudden change of heart. He said he wanted to go off and join the Roman army, to "make something of" himself, and to explore the world beyond Potidaea. I remember crying my eyes dry, even threatening him that I was…going to commit suicide if he didn’t reconsider."

Gabby was obviously hurting; Gilead stopped her.

"Perhaps another time, Gabby…? You should get some rest."

"…No…I’m all right. I have to finish the story; I’m the bard, remember?"

Gabby managed a bitter smile.

"…He swore on his honor to return someday, and left me there, in the tiny village of Potidaea. I had never cried so much as I did on that night…my mother tucked me in, like she used to do when I was a little baby. It was about then that I decided I wasn’t going to rot away in that tiny village…I wanted to follow in Perdicas’ footsteps. Then I met Xena, and I asked to join her in her journeys. She would say no, of course. But after the battle on chariots, she agreed to take me along."

"…What do you mean by the "battle on chariots"?"

Gabby had to smile at that.

"Oh, I’m sorry; there’s no way you could have known about that. Ask Xena; she can explain it better than I ever could."

She paused, then continued.

"When we started on our journey, I had originally planned to take time out to look for Perdicas. Xena was very irritable at first, but she knew what it was like to be separated from a loved one, and eventually gave me her support. I eventually did find him, at the Battle of Troy. He had eloped to the other side, though, the side that would eventually lose. Perdicas was then taken prisoner; I did not hear from him until a year later, when I became nineteen. I got married shortly therafter...I felt like I was in heaven; I was so much in love…Then…then Callisto came along—"

Gabby couldn’t finish. She buried her face in her hands, and her shoulders started to shake. Gilead stood, awkward, pondering whether he should offer her a shoulder to cry on. He eventually decided, and gently laid a hand on her shoulder. Gabby then turned and snuggled up to Gilead.

"You don’t have to go on, Gabby. I’ve heard enough…"

"…(sniff)"

"Come on."

The young man led the heartbroken woman back to the village where they were staying. He led Gabby by the hand to her room at the inn, next to Xena’s. She didn’t object when he kissed her good night on the forehead; she muttered a reply and closed the door.

Gilead stood guard outside Gabby’s door for what seemed like at least two hours. He wished he could help her; but at the same time he knew this was something Gabby had to conquer on her own; no one could do it for her. He stood, not feeling like sleeping tonight. He really didn’t need to; he always seemed to have a constant flow of fresh usable energy in his reserve. His body did not really require daily rest. In fact, one too many times Gilead found himself wide awake and counting sheep whenever he tried to fall asleep.

Was Gabby finally opening up to him? She certainly had not shown any discomfort or objection when he held her hand, or kissed her, even. Or was she just too lost in loathing and sadness? Gilead hoped it wasn’t the latter.

The sun shone brightly, but gently into the windows of the old building, filling the hallway in which Gilead stood like a statue. When he sensed that the first person in the inn was awake, he silently shifted into his room and pretended to be asleep. He then opened his door and stepped out as the young man passed by. He exchanged a "good morning" with the man and went outside to splash some water on his face. He then slipped into the tavern, located in a remote corner of the building. As expected, no one was here yet save the jolly, middle aged man sitting behind the counter. The fat man with the apron did not notice Gilead’s presence; he didn’t look up from wiping the counter until Gilead called out a "hello," making the man jump.

"Whoaaaaaa! Don’t scare me like that, young man!"

"Well, I see someone’s up early!!"

"Never liked to sleep in; just not me."

"Oh, yeah? Well, as long as yer up, want anything?"

"At this time of day, tea would be ideal," Gilead lied. He never drank booze; he just did not find that stuff appealing in the least bit.

The enormous Santa Claus of a man, with an equally enormous voice, slapped down a tall glass on the counter. Gilead sat down, and while sipping his tea, went into a mode of thinking. He thought about last night, and his encounter with Gabrielle; he had sensed that she was in a foul mood, and had gone up to her to offer her some choice words, and to possibly "hit" on her, at the same time.

He scarcely had time to finish this thought and down his tea when Santa tapped the table in front of him.

"Young man, those yer friends?"

Gilead looked around to see Xena and Gabby standing in the doorway, packed and ready to leave.

Xena made a "come here" motion with her hand; something was up. Breakfast on the road again, huh? Gilead thought to himself. As he approached his mother, he noticed that Gabby seemed very different; she wore a stern, rock-hard expression, and seemed to constantly look out toward the mountains. Gilead gulped; what was going on? Was it something he did?

Later, on the road, the three were traveling by horse, and Gilead witnessed something he had not seen before; Gabby, not Xena, was leading the way. A bystander would have thought nothing of it, but judging from what he had seen this morning, and as well as the fact that Gabby had said absolutely nothing in three hours, meant something was not right. Gilead’s sixth sense was also telling him the same thing. Also, Gabby avoided riding whenever possible, for reasons not even her longtime companion Xena could understand; Gabby did not seem to mind it one bit this morning, however, as she had mounted her horse without saying a word. Gilead stopped in his tracks and grabbed his mother’s arm.

"Mom, you are not telling me something," he whispered to Xena.

To that she replied: "There is something she is not telling either of us."

"Please elaborate."

Holding Gabby’s staff, which Gabby had given to her to carry, Xena replied:

"Well, Solan; when Gabrielle got up this morning, she came to my room and said she could feel something. …She told me that Perdicas was calling her, and that she needed to go find him. I had to tag along; what if she’s under some spell?"

"Do you believe her?"

"My son, do you?"

"Strangely, yes. Oh, mother…"

"Yes?"

"Do you have still have that Talisman Joxer gave you a long time ago?"

Xena reached into her saddlebag and fished around until she produced the golden, bracelet-sized ring. It had three gems, red, green, and blue, in the center of it in a triangular pattern; the rest of the ornament was completely bare gold.

"Here it is, but why do you ask?"

"…Keep it handy. For some reason, I have a feeling we’re gonna need that."

All this time Gabby had been riding forward, either ignoring or not being aware of mother and son talking about her. By the time Xena and Gilead realized that Gabby had rounded a corner and disappeared out of their sight, she was nowhere to be seen; they must have spent at least an hour searching for Gabrielle and calling out her name. Gilead then spotted her. She was standing atop a cliff nearby, facing the ocean. She had dismounted from her horse and her face was turned toward the sky, her eyes closed. She had a smile on her lips, and she seemed as if she was basking in the sunlight. Xena and son reached the height of the cliff; Xena rushed toward Gabrielle, who was standing dangerously close to the jagged edge of the cliff, but was repelled by a an invisible force, and was hurled back twenty feet.

"Mother!"

Gilead leapt to catch Xena, and nearly missed. After helping his mother to her feet, Gilead looked up in time to see a form, vaguely human, materializing in the air in front of him.

"Perdicas!"

"What? Did you say "Perdicas"?"

"This is the spirit of Perdicas, mom. He has come back for Gabrielle!"

At that point Gabrielle seemed to regain consciousness. She opened her eyes, whirled around, and saw where she was.

"Xena? Gilead? Where am I? …What is going on?"

"She was hypnotized! I should have known," Xena mumbled to herself.

A voice, to Gilead:

"Who are you?"

Gabby:

"That sounds like…Perdicas? Am I hearing things?"

Xena:

"This is impossible! Perdicas is dead!"

Voice of Perdicas:
"But does that mean I can’t stick around a while longer?"

Everyone was speechless. Gabby spoke first:
"Perdicas…my love…have you come back for me?"

Perdicas:
"Yes, my love. Now we’re together again…"

Gilead:

"No, wait."

Both the spirit of Perdicas, and Gabby turned and looked at the young man.

"Perdicas, listen. You are dead. …It’s time to accept that fact and move on. As mortals, we all know our time will come some day; only we do not know when. …You have to take the passage into the next world; you can’t stay in purgatory forever."

Perdicas:

"HA! Some talk coming from the young weasel who has been trying to get his fingers on my bride!"

Xena half-smiled.
Just as I had suspected…Solan, my son, you amaze me. Of all the girls in the world, you just had to go after Gabrielle…

Gabby:

"Gilead is right, Perdicas."

Perdicas:

"What…!"

Gabby:

"As much as we thought we were in love, we weren’t meant to be…don’t you see that?"

Perdicas:

"…Gabrielle…I can’t believe that you, of all people, are saying that. I loved you since the day we first saw each other, Gabrielle. Don’t you understand? Don’t you understand the reason why I’ve refused to go into the next world?"

"Perdicas, listen to me. You’ll always have a special place in my heart; but can we refute what the gods have decided?"

Perdicas’s spirit was silent.

"Can we ever change what the gods have decided as our destinies? Last night, as I was standing by the river, I felt your presence…I thought you understood; understood me."

"…I don’t want to leave you…ever."

"You have to accept the truth; stop running from it. There is no other way."

"NO! The gods revived this young weasel called Solan, so why not ME? I want to touch you again, Gabrielle. I want to hold your hand again. I want to kiss you, to do everything we used to do together. I’m never letting you go, Gabrielle. Why don’t you get it?"

A lengthy silence followed on Gabby’s part. Eventually, Gabby’s face turned cold; looking straight at Perdicas, she shook her head.

"Is that it? Is that what you want? To be revived? …Perdicas, I’m surprised at you. …As for not letting me go…I do get it. That’s why I have to let you go. You must let yourself go as well; love yourself again, Perdicas. Release yourself."

Perdicas let out an agonizing scream. The deafening scream was that of someone who had lost his mind, someone who was at his wit’s end.

The human form came down onto the ground and, taking a more solid shape, with complete facial features, struck a blow at Gilead’s head, which he avoided with ease. Gilead leapt back and pulled out his sword, and Xena fumbled in her saddlebag for the talisman, the ancient artifact that could supposedly drive away spirits. Xena could now see that Gilead looked a lot like Perdicas; she wondered why she had not noticed it before.

Perdicas was shouting at the top of his lungs.

"If I can’t have her, you sure as hell are not going to touch her!"

Perdicas kicked at Gilead’s midsection, but Gilead parried the blow with his sword without batting an eye. That made Perdicas only angrier, and he accidentally struck Gabrielle in his furious rampage; she plunged into the raging ocean below, toward the jagged rocks pointing toward the sky like knives.

Gilead flung himself after Gabrielle. As he went down he shouted at Xena, "mother! The talisman! Use the talisman!"

Xena, completely entranced by the unfolding of events, took a while to snap back into reality. She fumbled with the golden artifact, giving Perdicas just enough time to deal Xena a torrential blow to the head. She dropped the ring and threw her hands up and blocked, and it was just enough cushion to prevent losing consciousness. Then Perdicas dove after Gabby and Gilead. Xena, still dazed, hobbled over to the cliff edge holding the treasure. She couldn’t see anyone; the water was churning, the blue water turning soapy white with the ravaging tides. She slumped to the ground and started casting the spell.

Ten seconds passed. Xena desperately and vainly chanted the magic words, knowing in her mind that it was too late. Then, as if to defy her, something came out of the water, a white trail of smoke, screaming skyward. Xena tumbled back on to her rear just in time to let the white spear of light whiz harmlessly past her face. The wind generated by the passing of the white stuff raised a six-inch thick layer of dust; by the time Xena slapped herself back into sense and looked up, she could see a faint white dot disappearing into the sky.

Running to the very edge of the cliff and looking down, Xena screamed out for Gabby and Gilead over and over; no answer came. Then out of the left corner of her eyes, Xena sensed movement. She pulled her sword out and turned, then holstered it again in relief. To the left of the cliff, fifty feet below, Gilead was dragging an unconscious Gabrielle out on to the sandy beach. Xena somersaulted down the fifty-foot tall cliff, yelling her battle cry, landed on the sand, and rushed toward the two.

Xena screamed in frantic alarm.

"Solan!" Is she okay?"

"She’s fine, don’t worry."

Gilead/Solan administered mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, and within one minute Gabrielle was awake.

"…Ohhhh…I knew I should have slept in today…"

Gabby sat up, but felt the dizziness and slumped down again. Xena hugged her.

"Don’t you ever scare me like that again, Gabrielle; both of you!"

Gilead looked at his mother. Xena spoke again:

"How would I ever go on if I lost both of you at once?"

Gilead wanted to say something, but thought better of it.

Xena turned back to Gabby.

"Don’t get up, Gabrielle. Rest…Perdicas is gone."

Gabby:

"…Perdicas…"

Gilead:

"Mother used that talisman Joxer gave us, to send Perdicas on his way…"

Gabby:

"…Perdicas…how could I have been so blind?"

Gilead:

"He wasn’t meant for you, Gabby; that weak-minded fool didn’t deserve you."

Xena, sensing where Gilead was getting at, excused herself.
"…Listen, I’ll go fetch the horses; they’re still standing up on the cliff. …Solan, help her up. We’re going back to the village."

Xena went around the cliff to the steep incline and disappeared, and Gilead pulled Gabby up. The two, now alone, passed an awkward moment in silence.

"Thank you, Gilead."

"…You were going to die. Someone had to jump in."

"…"

"Gabby…can I ask you something, about Perdicas?"

"…Okay."

"Did you really love him, or was it mere infatuation?"

"…When I was seventeen, we were both in love. I’m sure of it. But the years of roaming the world as a spirit somehow changed him…like it changed you…"

"He was blinded by sorrow and rage…I guess I did appear as a weasel to him…"

"Gilead."

Gilead, somewhat embarrassed:
"Yes?"

Gabby, slightly red:

"…Do you…love me, Gilead…?"

The tide receded slowly; it seemed as if the whole world had stopped, waiting in anticipation for Gilead’s answer. Flushed, Gilead looked away; he was glad his mother was taking all the time in the world. He looked back at Gabby, the love of his life, standing in front of him; she went red, and looked down at her feet. After what seemed like an eternity, Gilead finally spoke.

"When I first saw you, Gabrielle…After I was reborn…"

"…"

"I…realized how beautiful you were: not only of the body, but more of the soul. While I was growing up on Mt. Olympus, I had very few chances to go out into the world and interact with humans; girls least of all."

Gabby peered up at him.

Gilead stuttered on:

"Well, I…I…um…that is…"

Gabby had never seen Gilead at a loss for words before. Gabby spoke after a moment:

"You saved my life, "Perdicas.""

"Did you just call me "Perdicas"?"

Gabby smiled wryly.
"You are not Perdicas, but you look so much like him. Your heart is much more noble, however."

A long pause.

Gilead:
"How do you feel about me?"

Gabby:

"You saved my life, Gilead. You risked death a second time to protect me."

"…"

"Perdicas and I were not made for each other; I realized that last night. You were right, Gilead: when things happen, they happen…I’ve learned to accept it. And today…seeing how narrow-minded Perdicas really was…I’m okay now. I’ve gotten over his loss."

Gilead could contain his heart no longer. He blurted out:
"I love you, Gabrielle."

Gabby looked up at Gilead and replied:

"…I love you too, Gilead…"

The two souls embraced and kissed, becoming one for a brief moment. Xena, who had been watching all this under cover of leaves, stood up; the couple, kissing, did not care to notice. Xena smiled; smiled at her son, every bit an adult now. She then smiled at Gabrielle, having finally found happiness after years of sorrow following Perdicas’ death.

The sun was still high. Xena could hear her stomach growling; they had better get back to the village soon. After taking one last look at her companions, Xena finally started climbing up the hill to the cliff.